Hello. My name is Victor Carniglia. I am a close friend of Joe’s, having known Joe since high school. Rhea asked to me talk a bit about the “younger” Joe, since Rhea and Joe didn’t find each other until their mid-thirties. If I was writing a biography of Joe, this chapter would be titled, “Joe, the years before he met the one woman he truly loved”. Looking back on my over 48 year friendship with Joe, and as I reflect on just who Joe was, it became clear to me that Joseph Giroux is the most remarkable man I have ever known, and likely will ever know. The fact that someone with so much inherent “worth” as Joe is now suddenly gone, magnifies and sharpens my sense of loss. Joe’s passing has left me with a sadness that I don’t expect will ever go away. What helps balance this pain and loss, is the more I think about Joe, the more I am reminded how lucky I am to have known Joe for as long as I have, to have someone as exceptional as Joe be part of my life for over 48 years! Joseph was not an easy person to get to know well, as he tended to be both private and contemplative, even as a young man. I had the distinct advantage that I grew up with him. I met Joe as a freshman in high school. We were both attending Jesuit High, at the time a small, brand new, all boys “college prep” high school in Sacramento. When I first met Joe as a high school freshman in 1964, I had this clear sense that Joe was a person that it felt good being around. Joe even at 14, had that calm, self-assured quality about him. Joe was “comfortable in his own skin” from an early age. Most kids at 14 years old put up a false front of blustering self-confidence. A typical 14 year old also tends to be scattered, insecure, and at some level scared of the idea of “growing up”. Joe, at the age of 14, was already in many ways “grown up”, although he still had the same acne and pimples as the rest of us! At Jesuit, students were grouped into classes based how they scored on the school entry exam. Joe and I, and our peer group, were placed in the “smart” class. We saw ourselves as a “breed apart”, the “best and the brightest” of an admittedly small sample size! Others probably just saw us as a bunch of nerdy geeks. Sadly, this nerd stereotype was probably pretty accurate. However, Joe, while a member of the nerdy “smart” class, didn’t fit that “nerd” mold: • Joe was an “A” student, but not an egghead, • Joe played on the football team, but was not a jock. • Joe had a real girlfriend (remember, we went to an all-boys school!) but he was not a “ladies man”. • Joe participated in school theatrical production, but he did not have artistic pretentions. • Joe loved hiking and the outdoors, but he did not like to hunt. • Joe experimented with alcohol and drugs (it was the 1960’s after all), but Joe was not a stoner. • Joe was competitive, but only to push himself, not to beat others. • Joe was physically strong with endless stamina, but Joe had the athletic skills of a “potted plant”. Watching Joe play basketball was both terrifying and hysterical. Joe handled the basketball like it was an inflatable shot put!! After high school, Joe and I attended UC Davis. As I recall, we both enrolled as engineering majors (our fathers were civil engineers). However, this was the 1960’s and the emphasis was on personal creativity, self-expression, and self-discovery. In hindsight the 1960’s was also a self-centered, self-indulgent time, which we all came to realize in varying degrees. Self-indulgent or not, it was fun! Engineering was a 1950’s major, at least that’s how we saw it! Joe gravitated to the academic disciplines that afforded the kind of self-exploration and creativity that made the 1960’s famous (and infamous!). For Joe, those creative disciplines were writing and music. Joe eventually settled on music as his academic focus. At U.C. Davis, in our freshman year, Joe and I lived in different dorms, but saw each other often. I stuck to engineering for a while, then eventually switched to environmental studies. Joe was primarily taking music and liberal arts classes, so we didn’t see each other often in academic settings. We kept in touch, in part, by playing on the same intramural sports teams (basketball was the most fun!). In senior year Joe and I roomed together, along with our good mutual friend Dave Cardin. We lived in a dilapidated duplex built around the turn of the last century, and we had an amazingly great time together, living essentially as brothers. Rent was only $50/month, which we split 3 ways. The person who had their own bedroom paid $18/month, while the other two, who shared a bedroom, paid $16/month!! Much has changed since then!!! I have to tell you at least one “Joe story” from the time we lived together in that run down, but dirt cheap, duplex. This story speaks to Joe’s calmness, patience, and gentle demeanor: In the other half of the broken down duplex where we lived, there was an old woman named Margaret who was in her late 70’s or early 80’s. Margaret, when she was a young girl, suffered a brain injury from a childhood disease. Margaret lived in the duplex rent free, courtesy of the building owner who was a relative of Margaret’s. The duplex had a shared screened in porch where Margaret spent most of her time, just sitting, watching the world go by. While Margaret got along well with us, she didn’t much like it when visitors came by. One fall night I happened to be sitting out on the porch with Margaret, when three female Davis college students, who were part of a music study group Joe belonged to, came by to work on a group project with Joe. Before the young ladies got to the front door, Margaret stood up suddenly, and began yelling insults at the women, calling them really horrible, nasty names. She yelled out some insults I had never heard before (and haven’t heard since). Hearing the commotion, Joe quickly came bounding out of the house to rescue the three women. Once the three female students were safely inside, Joe came out to talk to Margaret. He wasn’t mad at all. Joe sat down next to Margaret, and explained to her calmly and patiently that the women were there because they were in his music class at college, and the name calling she did was very hurtful, especially calling the young women prostitutes. Margaret quietly listened and Joe went back inside. It was getting cold so I eventually went in too. Around 9:00pm or so, the three women got up to leave. Margaret was still on the porch, bundled up. I came out of my $18/month bedroom to say goodbye to our three guests. No sooner had the young women walked by a bundled up Margaret on the porch (with Joe shepherding them along), when Margaret, in her shrill but booming voice, yelled to the women, “Hey, prostitutes like you better not come back here again!!”, followed quickly by, “That’s what Joe told me you were!!” I don’t recall laughing any harder than I did then. Joe, glanced at Margaret, smiled that quizzical, philosophical half-smile of his, and told the three women, who were rapidly disappearing down the sidewalk, to have a “good night”. Joe subsequently explained the situation to his three classmates. After UC Davis we went our own way. Joe ended up working as a music teacher in New Foundland, Canada, and he subsequently did graduate school work in music in New York. But we always kept in touch. One day, many years later, when my wife Maureen and I were visiting Joe, he told us about this amazing lady he had met when he was looking for a roommate. Joe said her name was Rhea, said he was dating Rhea, and that he wasn’t completely sure if she liked him as much as he liked her. I told Joe not to worry, that Rhea was lucky to meet someone like him. It turned out I was right!! Like Rhea, we are all lucky to have known Joseph! - Victor Carniglia